Unit 3/ essay 2

January 31, 2011

Thich Nhat Hanh writes, “Pain is inevitable, but sufferings is optional.” Explain the difference between pain and suffering. Why would Hanh want to send his children to a place where there is suffering?

For a measure of clarity let us begin on the same foot. I would like to present three definitions for three common words used in our language. The first, pain, is defined as: physical suffering or discomfort caused by illness or injury. To what extent pain is inevitable is based on an individual's or groups threshold to withstand physical, mental or spiritual sensation. The second, suffering, is defined as: to experience or be subjected to something bad or unpleasant. Suffering therefore deals more with the psyche and emotions, and as something that one chooses to experience. Although suffering could also deal physical pain, Thich Nhat Hanh (which I will shorten to TNH through out the essay) defines suffering as ill-being. He says, ill-being can be desecribed in terms of “violence, discrimination, hate, jealousy, anger, craving and especially ignorance.” The main difference between the two words is while pain often deals with a temporary sensation, suffering can be an on going state of being. The last word I'd like to define is compassion. To clarify, it is thought of as a sympathetic pity (feeling sorrow) and concern for the suffering or misfortunes of others. i.e.: pity, sympathy, empathy,fellow feeling, care, concern, solicitude, sensitivity, warmth, love,tenderness, mercy, leniency, tolerance, kindness, humanity, charity for self and others.

Buddha spoke about the Four Noble Truths as a path toward understanding, compassion, and ultimately, wisdom. In order stay to the path TNH says we must know what suffering really is. We must take a deep look into its nature and try not to run away from it. Perhaps the ill-being will be touching upon our habits, patterns or conditioned thoughts. The very things we want to identify with, but the very things that keep us ignorant. TNH says “thanks to suffering you have a chance to cultivate your understanding and your compassion.” Without it we could not grow, we could not learn, we could not know how to be compassionate! “That is why it is the noble truth.” He says we should not allow suffering to overwhelm us. If we know how to look deeply into suffering and learn from it, we will know the wisdom and have the understanding to see things more clearly, perhaps even as they really are.

If suffering was a invasive, destructive weed, then ignorance would be its roots. In order to kill it, we would need to discover not only its roots, but the nature of its existence. Why and how it got into our garden and what do we do take it out, and keep it from coming back. Only then, “we could discover the path that leads to well-being”. TNH says, You cannot follow the second noble path (the cessation of suffering) until you understand the path before it (suffering being the starting point).

The idea that life should only be happy is not what Buddhism is trying to say. “Many Buddhists believe that in the Land of the Buddha there is no suffering. This is dualistic thinking.” But how is that dualistic thinking? If it is a polarity “ the state of having two opposite or contradictory tendencies, opinions, or aspects” or a duality “an instance of opposition or contrast between two concepts or two aspects of something; a dualism” which both imply opposition, how can the belief of the absence of one thing, be dualistic? Because it is oppositional thinking. It wants to negate one form for another. Or does it? They want to negate suffering into happiness without acknowledging the existence and necessary need for it. Without suffering there would be no happiness. TNH says “(duality) goes against the wisdom of Buddhism, the wisdom of inter-being.” Inter-being is not duality because one form requires the another. Left needs right, night needs day, top needs bottom, to be have its specific identity. But this is just a play on words. Whether you say duality, polarity or inter-being, I think the important point to understand is that we cannot have one form without the other if we want to label and categorize things.

I like this metaphor TNH gives:

“A garden should have both garbage and flowers. A gardener knows how to handle the garbage in order for the flower to be protected and grow. In order to grow vegetables you need compost. If you are an organic gardener you know that you don’t need to throw the garbage away. Garbage is organic, and with the garbage you can make compost and nourish the flowers and vegetables. Suffering is also organic. If you know this you can transform suffering into well-being. This is the Buddha’s teaching of non-duality.”

So the key is transformation! Transforming one form into the other, rather than negating or suppressing its existence.

TNH says, “I would never want to send my children to a place where there is no suffering, because in such a place they would have no chance to learn how to understand and to be compassionate.” But, we are living in a world where suffering is multiplying and taking on new form after form. We are no longer dealing with simply transforming organic wastes into productive gardens. What about the use of pesticides, herbicides and other toxins? What kind of suffering do the toxic chemicals that leech into our water ways and pollute ecosystems and air particles, represent? What about the synthesized, technologically inorganic materials that bombard and destroy even the healthiest gardens.

Since everything is inter-connected, we must look not only after our own gardens, garbage and weeds, but the roots, and aquifers, and natural systems of our neighbors too. What one neighbor does 3 miles up stream on his own property plays a significant role in our personal space as well. How one person projects suffering to millions, is how that person projects suffering to everything.

But TNH reassures us that it is by touching this kind of suffering, and understanding the gravity and depth of suffering, that we have a chance to understand people and their suffering. Because of that understanding we start to know what it means to be compassionate. “A place where there is no understanding and compassion is hell.” Perhaps some have already taken our lot there.

In order to be equipped for the jealousy, violence, hatred, discrimination, cravings, ignorance and inconsideration in our world, TNH believes if we practice compassion and grow in our understandings, we will not suffer; we will actually be protected. Perhaps that is why he would send his children to a place of suffering. For them to learn what it is, and then from that knowledge they would be safe and lead a life where they could help others. You would become a “Bodhisattva, a teacher of understanding and compassion, helping people learn to how to be more understanding and compassionate... You would be the organic gardener.” But, is this too hopeful? Too naive and idealistic in today’s world? Or does the power of the spirit take on obstacles and truly heal in the face of the hardest adversity?

Victims are victims of discrimination and ignorance. “You are living in such a way that you can help them remove and transform their victimhood (ignorance) into something productive.” TNH says cravings and anger stem from ignorance. Sadly the people in power are actually craving companionship, wisdom and connection but settle on something they can control without really looking into themselves or growing up. Therefore, the job up for us, the children, is ultimately, healing work. To live with courage in the face of hatred, to lessen our egos, lower our shields, and invite people to walk barefoot through our gardens. To deeply hear others perspectives and how they have been wronged, then, TNH says that compassion (i.e. the sympathy, empathy, fellow feeling, care, concern, sensitivity, warmth, love, tenderness, mercy, tolerance, kindness, charity and humanity) would sprout and grow for our selves and others.

Nhat Hanh, Thich. Darma, Color and Culture. New Voices in Western Buddhism. Ed. Hilda Gutierrez Baldoquin. 61-73. Berkeley: Parallax Press. Print.

bodsittva of compassion

Darma, Color and Culture. New Voices in Western Buddhism. edited by Hilda Gutierrez Baldoquin

The Nobility of Suffering. Thich Nhat Hanh

• ill-being is suffering
• thanks to suffering you have a chance to cultivate your understanding and your compassion.
• ill-being can be described in terms of violence, discrimination, hate, jealousy, anger, craving, and especially ignorance.
• wisdom of interbeing
• suffering and happiness are also organic
• if you know this you can transform suffering into well-being. This is the Buddha's teaching of non-duality.
• by touching suffering, understanding it, you can have a chance to understand people and their suffering.
• You are not anyone's victim
• Craving and anger are born from ignorance
• you are noble not because of your race, but because of your way of thinking, your way of speaking, and your way of acting.
• whose way of thinking is full of understanding and humanity, whose way of speaking is full of hope and confidence, and whose way of acting is full of compassion.
• 
  
• Nutriments:
• 1st: edible food: urges to consume only items that bring about lightness, healing, and nourishment in our body and in our mind.

• 2nd: sensory impression: watch out for seeds of craving and violence, and if they are being watered. (like a invasive species, need to be mindful of cultivating)
• Being aware and mindful of what we are seeing can help protect us.
• when you drive through the city, be aware of what you are consuming, even when you don't want to, you are forced to it.
• Even conversations may be highly toxic. What the other person says may be full of hate or despair, and after one an hour of listening, you may feel paralyzed by the toxins in the conversation.
• The practice of therapy should include hours of walking, sitting, and getting in touch with the wonder of life.
• Don't try to do more than you your limit. you will burn out.
• Practice of self protection. so that you do not bring "toxins" in you. Six doors to guard: eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body and mind. mindful consumption.

• 3rd: Volition: the deepest desire that motivates a person's life. What is our purpose in living? live simply and relate easily to others.

• 4th: Consciousness as food: "everything comes from consciousness". when wrong perceptions have been removed, consciousness becomes wisdom.

• "Not many people help us to understand our fear, our anger.
• Not many people help us embrace them and look deeply into their nature.
• and our gov't has acted on the foundation of that collective fear and anger. It is very dangerous."
• I do not underestimate. You are a Buddha-to-be. "Everyone has Buddha nature" or any other Deity nature.
• Security guards in the airport do not look for your Buddha nature, they are looking at you as a potential terrorist.
• when a culture goes like that, they are going in the wrong direction!

• i walked slowly so i could enjoy the cold, fragrant air, so it could nourish me and heal me.
• then a car pulled up to me, opened the door and yelled " This is America, not China."
• Maybe he thought....
• But i was not angry, i thought it was funny.
• if he paused for a moment, I would tell him "I agree with you one hundred percent. this is America, not China. What you say is very correct. I agree with you, buy why do you have to shout at me."
• The oppressed and and the oppressors are inside of us. Our practice is to reach to their wisdom of nondiscrimination.
• I want these people to be happy and to have freedom. The are all my beloved ones.
• "We iter-are; that is the fact. YOu are in me and i am in you. it's silly to discriminate against each other. It is ignorant to think that you are superior to me or that i am superior to you."

• You cannot compare. (according to the Buddha). the right hand and the left hand don't have separate selves.
• superiority is a sickness that lies as an illusion of a self that is better.
• Both sides are trying to punish the other and prove that they are superior. This is unnecessary.
• the complex of superiority, inferiority, and equality brings suffering. IF you are a magnolia, be a magnolia. If you are a reed, be a reed. There is no need to compare. "When you think there is a self then you compare and compete. When you remove the notion of self you are free from these kinds of complexes."
• A "one-way" of thinking, is a habitual way that imprisons yourself in a framework of culture and behavior. one way of behaving, confined to the limits. There must be diversity and understanding of the multitude of ways.
• With conflict or misunderstanding, we must find out all the sufferings and difficulties of the person or group, all their wrong perceptions and ask and find out why they come to feel as they do.
• Conflicts can take place within ourselves. We must reconcile with ourselves. First and foremost, then move outward. We must cast love and gentleness on ourselves.
• Conflicts between people can be solved with good communication, deep listening and loving speech. We can help each other remove wrong perceptions .
• Why do we think about hatred and punishment, when we can liberate and help remove wrong perceptions. Motivation by fear or anger can be masks for craving. Craving for acknowledgment or affirmation. Craving for power, which again is simply the child in the human asking for love and understanding.
• WE have to find out the motivation, the foundation of action from people, especially when it comes from a place of attack or violence.
• To listen compassionately and ask deep questions requires a lot of courage. We must lower our shields, release a bit of our egos to hear someone else clearly. To see them as ourselves is a practice of ages. We must begin now.
• If we detect elements of wrong perception in them, then we know that later on we can release the information they need to correct their wrong perceptions.
• 
  

Deepness of questions and the deep ecology movement. Arne Naess

• "sooner or later we arrive in fields of inquiry typical of philosophy." Why-strings leads questioning to deeper questions.
• "Suppose a proposal B is based upon the same set of premises except one, an unarticulated presupposition P." In order to reach some kind of mutual understanding, questioning the proposal and perspectives one has helps. You can lead this simple approach (of questioning) in any form to get to the bottom of someone's reasoning sense.
• "comparing argumentation patters" (deep ecologists) "tend to have firm convictions at a deep level" (<
• "When questions of what to do (or not to do) in a situation are relevant, why- and how-strings sooner or later get to be irrelevant." This is from a point of view of ACTION. Action cuts the "Gordian knot" (a difficult problem solved by a serious blow), but leaves all questions open.

• Optimism/Pessimism approach
• Ex. of Rachel Carson's Silent Spring. Supporters of deep say the ecological crisis is grave and many people will experience pain in transitioning to ecological sustainability. Supporters of shallow, tend to move to the optimistic side, to the point of "not even acknowledging that there is a crisis, but support vigorous action to investigate the ozone layer situation, and provide repair jobs." (what's wrong with that? is it time wasted? or are their actions resented by deep ecologists? Why don't we read the opposing discourses?)
• Shallow "believe the responsible ecological policies will be implemented in due time because of the clearly manageable magnitude of the implied problems." But Naess argues that even when negative environmental practices where growing, such as increase of pesticide use on food and plants, toxins dumped in water systems, "only a few people where alarmed... even when undesirable consequences of pesticide use became unclear, nothing decisive was done to decrease their use." SO, this is to say, it is because not enough people raise questions with persistence.
• "Those who went deeper, both questioned deeper in the sense of deeper premises, and suggested deeper changes socially (in a wide sense)."
• "there is always room for differences (in degrees of pessimism and optimism.)"
• sociologist C. Wright Mills came too early. (he really questioned and problematized

Ritual- the Pattern that Connects; Dolores LaChapelle

• What is the phenomena? "our language system acknowledges only the type of phenomena which support this particular system."
• "Paradoxically we must write or talk about this alternative way of thinking while using the very same language system which is at the root of the problem."
• Native societies: connected with the earth; where stable, sustainable cultures, often lasting for thousand of years; and had rich ceremonial life.
• there is a 'limited procreative energy' that flows from human to animals, society to nature", therefore its advantages to be conservative with resource exploitation.
• Seasonal festivities. topocosm- place for world order. SF set balance and revived this order.
• "acknowledge non-human co-inhabitants of your place." Acknowledging the sacred animal of your area, such as from totem poles of folk tales, and reflecting how and why they are important to the ecosystem, social system, and entire universal process. The continuity and revival of this acknowledgment bridges any separations that may have developed, while also bringing gratitude to their role and existence.
• Siena, Italy: horse races to mimic battles, end religious festivities.
• Charles Russell "...a pioneer destroys things and calls it civilization."

Simple in Means, Rich in Ends, interview with Arne Naess, by Stephan Bodian

AN: later pressures made me happy to be where nothing pressured me into behaving or evaluating in any particular way.

philosopher is one whose philosophy is expressed in his or her life.

* in what situations do i experience the maximum satisfaction of my whole being?

* an oceanic feeling

willingness to trust our intuition and say "i know in my heart that this what we need to do."

Deep Ecology, A new paradigm. Fritjof Capra

Concepts:

• use value to nature
• perennial philosophy
• eastern spiritual traditions, Christian mystics, Native American spirituality, Taosim.
• earth and human: not a machine or computer but a living organism.
• all natural systems are wholes with specific structures that are interdependent, and connect from their parts.
• "it is desirable to leave these perplexities behind us and get down to work." Don't despair, and don't become complacent.

The Viable Human: Thomas Berry. excerpts

• " cosmic and biological realms" in response to to the natural world.
• "instinctively, humans have always perceived themselves as a mode of being *of the universe as well as distinctive beings *in the universe."
• (this at least was in the beginning...)
• "Just how long this primordial harmony endured we do not know beyond the last hundred thousand years of the Paleolithic period." (some 10,000 years the Neolithic and then the Classical civilizations came into being).
• says, that within the last 5,000 years as the classical and literate civilizations and cultures developed, humans became more oppressive and destructive of other life forms. "Alienation from the natural world increased... because of this human dysfunctional relation with the world, some of these earlier human cultures became non sustainable." (i.e. the Med, Greek, and classical Roman civz) (but since they where decentralized and regional areas, the bulk of the human species were not seriously endangered.)
• Deep cultural pathology has developed.

• "Question of the viability of the human species is intimately connected with the question of the viability of the earth."
• "an exaggerated even pathological, fixation on its own comfort and convenience that is willing to exhaust any and all of the earth's resources to satisfy its own cravings." Indulging in the consumer society, is disgusting and unsuitable to this degree.
• Moving from anthropocentric to biocentric, must ask how can this be achieved and how would it work??

• "This plundering (by diminishing the value of the larger community (i.e. ecosystems and natural world) is being perpetrated mainly by the great industrial establishments that have dominated the entire planetary process for the past one hundred years, during hte period when modern science and technology took control not only of our natural resources but also of human affairs." The media, political systems, educational systems, whole cultural development led by ______. Even our language and constant use of "progress" or "profit" is misleading and control the direction human life is going. These words need to be rectified, "profit according to what norms and for whom? The profit of the corporation is the deficit of the earth. The profit of the industrial enterprise can also be considered the deficit of the quality of life, even for human society."
• "the planet is now ruled and determining its future through human decision." is this still an anthropocentric OR egocentric thought?
• "what is absolutely threatened is the degradation of the planet's more brilliant and satisfying forms of life expression."
• "human species shows itself to be a pernicious presence in the world."
• "such deterioration is from a rejection of the inherent limitation of earthly existence and from an effort to alter the natural functioning of the planet in favor of a humanly constructed wonderland." The earth as a bio-spiritual planet must become, for the human the basic reference. "
• The entrepreneur who's creating the wonderland is in fact creating a wasteland.

• "Having identified the magnitude of the difficulty before us, we must establish a specific analysis of the problems themselves and provide specific programs leading toward a viable *human situation on a viable planet"
• Industrial society is "already a spiritual and psychic degradation", any idea of the world as sacred has been manufactured into lust for money and things. "the naive assumption that the natural world exists solely to be possessed and used by humans for their unlimited advantage," cannot be accepted.
• "Each living thing participates in the celebration as the proper fulfillment of its powers of expression" ~spiritual or religious perspective.

• solutions: a new legal system, integrating the knowledge and connection of the earth process, mutual enhancement of of a human- earth relationship.
• 4 basic patriarchal oppressions: rulers of people, men of women, possessors over nonpossessors,and humans over nature.

• The could be's: conscious sensitizing of the human to those "profound communications made by the universe."
• adjustment of the human to the conditions and restraints of the natural world.

• **some seem to perceive limitation as an obstacle that needs to be eliminated opposed to a discipline to evoke creativity. It's like an opaque or even threatening aspect , but really an experience liberating or energizing, rather than confining.

• "ever-accelerating process until we experience an enormous glut of basic process. But we see unmatched deprivation for the growing numbers of people living the shantytowns of the world"

• "microphase solutions for macrophase problems"

• recover our sense of maternal aspect
• also recover our archetypal sense of the cosmic tree, tree of life
• increase awareness of the world, how it functions, how the human fits into the larger community of life, and the role that the human fulfills, the historical sequence that have shaped our physical and "cultural landscape".

Birth and Pilgrimage

February 16, 1985

The winds are howling in the dead of night during a bitter winter. As heavy clouds spread a cloak of white over the city of Kiev and the Dneper River, the cold and thick blanket warn people to stay inside. An unusually cold night, when most where asleep, my father was struggling on Shevchenka Blvd. through the snow to reach my mother. Passing by the Kiev University, the National Academy of Sciences of Ukraine, St. Volodymyr's Cathedral on the right, and the Kiev Botanical Gardens on the left and their famous red fence, he finally reaches the hospital at 2 a.m.

In the delivery room, my mother is sweating and losing blood very quickly; she lays there with a heavy breathe and a pale face, while the nurses and doctors rush around her. She glances outside the hospital window, where the silhouette of the snow covered trees across the street and the full moon calm her weary self. The moon hangs over the room, shining and pulsing its subtle but important currents into her and through her belly. I am floating there, fully developed and ready to be welcomed, but I feel the urgency and panic in the room. My grandmother is there, as a midwife and a mother-in-law, soothing my mother's pain with encouragement and strength. It is time.

After hours of struggle and labor, I'm being cleaned, warmed and wrapped up, but my mother is being rushed away, where I can not see. I see her disappear, pale as a ghost, into the hall with the hospital crew after her, I am left alone in a stranger's arms.

Not long after I enter the world, I am taken home in my father's arms. His warm and burly body and layers of clothes insulate me beside his chest. It is still cold outside. Everyday he took me to the hospital twice a day to be fed. We traveled on train, walked in snow, but the highlight was always walking through the botanical gardens, a wooded land in the heart of a city.

We lived in Kiev for four years of my life. In the summers, we'd go swimming in the Dneper river, a 1,400 mile long river, passing through Russia, Belarus and Ukraine. We'd vacation along the Black Sea, with the slow and balmy summer days, chasing guppy's in the water and being cooed to sleep by guitar. We'd go picking fresh blackberries in the Lisovyi Masyv, a forested neighborhood, on the edge of the woods, where my grandmother lived. The time flowed slowly.

October 3, 1989

Just three years after the Chernobyl disaster, the family had papers to leave Ukraine. On our way to the United States, we lived along the rolling hills of Austria, with the bulls and gingerbread houses; we lived in Venice, Italy surrounded by water and diplomacy. We where shipped from city to city, each time making new friends, playing and sharing in the different lands.

January 2, 1990

Westchester, CA, sea breeze and succulents. We live at my great aunts for four months before we move to the center of Los Angeles. LACMA, LA tar pits, traffic and buildings; we are home. Between the ages of five an eleven, I spent my time between elementary school classrooms, chlorinated swimming pools, dance classes and rooftops of houses and parking lots (we liked to climb and jump them). But life was not solely spent indoors. The populated hills of Studio City, the cool mountains of Malibu and the dry, hot valleys of San Fernando where explored and made familiar. Weekends where primarily spent on the beaches of Marina del Rey playing near the sea foam, ducking under waves, and getting skin chapped by the sea breeze and sun.

February 10, 2005

Two years after graduating high school and obliging to the expectations of family, my heart spoke its call loudly. Days on end, it was asking, pleading with me to let it loose. “Take me away, take me to the lands. These walls are closing in on me.” 'I hear you,” I say. “I want to go, just as much as you do, but there are logistics. I want to see the world, I want to connect with nature. I want to have more than just this contained city we dwell in. Please, just give me a moment to straighten some responsibilities out.”

So, to get away when I couldn't really, I spent a lot of time in the ocean for my release. My love for the water grew into an admiration. A perception and understanding of its holy nature. Its giving and fluctuating essence. I prayed with it, marveled at it, bowed down to it with fear and revere. And then, as if it heard my thoughts, the time came.

January 2007

A solo trip to Hawaii gave me the first glance at how large the world was. How much of it was unknown to me. My heart jumped! It skipped and giggled in delight. “Look at all this greenery! The roots system of those massive trees; the pineapple fields; and how about the volcanos? Do you feel them? Oh, and the ocean! Oh, the mighty, mighty turquoise ocean!” It swooned, it sung with glee and gratitude. So I did my best to follow its wishes. I took it to see the sunrise at Haleakala, a 10,000 foot volcano, at five in the morning, in a convertible, with windchill at 15 C. It was freezing, but as soon as the sun began to rise and creep through the blanket of clouds, and shine its bounty on us and the craters, it all made sense. What a blessing, truly understood.

And so continued my indulgence and allegiance to my little, beating heart. With every trusting step, it led me, and I carried it, through the world. Wonderful meetings and encounters with amazing people; witnessing and beholding varied landscapes and forms. The bounty of colors, sights, sounds. Each with a personality, a pulse, an existence to respect.

November 2007

Gothenburg, Sweden. A month long experience in the cold and snow. Twenty years have passed since I've actually lived in the snow or visited Europe. I lived with woods of spruce trees and frozen jellyfish implanted in the sand. There where long walks in the chilly air day and night, with only the sound of our footsteps to break the quiet. Time seemed to glide slowly here, perhaps it was me adjusting to the change in sunlight, which would rise at 8 a.m. and set at four in the afternoon. There was a sense of unlimited night time. I felt like Sweden allotted me timeless space for deep reflection. I also witnessed a sense of sustainability and consciousness in people that both surprised and inspired me.

October 1. 2008

What started out as an intriguing idea was finally coming into fruition. The journey was set, a 1,200 mile bike/camp pilgrimage down from Portland, Oregon to Los Angeles appropriately named “The Big Ride”. My family kept asking me, “What is compelling you to do this? Why do you keep taking (what they presumed to be) risks and how can you satisfy your hunger to see the world in a more 'normal' fashion?” I just kissed them and tried to reassure them that I knew what I was doing, and it was this kind of travel or nothing. In reality, I had no idea what was in store for me. I just felt an opportunity like this needed to be grabbed up and lived, before it passed me by.

On October 16, we rolled out of Portland toward the ocean at 2 p.m on a brisk, sunny afternoon. The first few days where a mixture of joy and suffering. The joy was experiencing something for the first time; for the sense of adventure and the unknown. The suffering was from the physical pain of going out like a novice on the Tour de France. The first two days, was the first taste of some of the mountains we would be climbing, before we stumbled into Lincoln City. From there, we traveled south hugging the ocean and traveling through sacred tree lands. I was in awe. Aside from making my heart work hard eight hours a day, it was in awe too. Every spot we stopped to rest was new and beautiful. Whether it was by an unknown lake, under a redwood tree, or on the cold sands along the pacific ocean, we all had a sense of grandness and gratitude pulsing through our bodies. Without going too much more into detail, the “the Big Ride” transformed me, yet again. I was hooked. The wanderlust was burning in me, begging for more.

October 10, 2009

Just short of a year from “the Big Ride”, I am on a plane yet again, this time flying to Boulder, CO. A good friend recommended I research Naropa University, and now I am actually going to visit a university I'm considering of attending. This is a first.

Green. All I see is green. Green trees. Green lawns and so many parks. There is a creek that runs through the entire town and an amphitheater surrounded by grass. This is heaven. The class I audited had a five minute meditation before class started and the second part of the class we took outside. We sat on the lawn behind the school, as the sun glistened through the foliage, I couldn't help feel joy. My heart was jumping inside. “Well, if this is what school can be, we have to go here!” it sang. I agreed.

But I wasn't ready yet and I couldn't stay long. I was in Boulder for only three days before I needed to return to LA. I kissed Boulder goodbye and promised return, but I had one more pilgrimage to go on before settling into school.

November 1, 2009

I'm flying over the the Pacific Ocean and my heart is soaring! Excitement and happiness are bouncing all over in my brain, and the deepest sense of gratitude like an aura, is glowing around me. Airports and flying have always been a good time for me. When most people worry or sleep, I set into a calm and reflective nature. It is like everything is put right into the world, or so I think.

This trip has been five years in the making. Although the destination is irrelevant. All the while in school, I've been hoping, secretly and openly, about a time when I could free myself of belongings and fly away. And so the time has finally come. I've said my good byes to family and friends. All my things stored in boxes at my dad's house and my apartment subletted, the only things I own are in a bike box sitting in luggage under my seat.

A year long visa to Australia is what my papers say. Oh, the possibilities. While some do not like the unknown, I welcome it with flowers and wine. I am a sucker for adventure and a junky for fun. I have a slight itinerary, an idea, but mainly, my heart is open and my mind is ready for what life has to offer. What does Mother earth and father time have planned? What do the currents and the winds hope for me? What do the roads and lands hold in store? What does the moon, or the sun wish for me? What will the people be like? Will they be open and willing to partake in life's grandness, or wish to be closed and ill dispositioned? What will this journey unveil?

I must say, again without going to far into the details, that like all journey, there where some up and downs and round-i-rounds. Nevertheless, I was left with all gratitude and fond memories. In terms of geography, the most striking features where the depths in colors and shadows (some will say it is from the lack of the ozone layer). The warmth and saltiness, the clarity of color, and the abundance of fish in the ocean. The kangaroos and vicious magpies. The twisting roots of Moreton Bay Figs and the their full canopies, providing solace from the sun. The change of climates: temperate weather to humidity and summer storms, tropical lush to dry deserts. Rainbows, warm breezes, blistering sun, breathtaking sunrises, generosity from people, generosity from mango trees, Australia wrapped up the first chapter of my life with a great ending. And also wrote the introduction to the next.

Australians' awareness of global issues and environmental responsibility is grounded. They are living with the immediate and are not sheltered from storms and changes of climate, like some of us. I hope I can be of some service to my community, like they are to theirs.

January 2011

Boulder once again, greeting me this time with snow covered arms. How you've changed my little “city”, I hope I can make you proud. This time the mountains are making their impression on me, and I come to them like a moth to a flame. Hikes through snow, ice or slush, I am gaining an appreciation for the cold I haven't had before. Sunrises every morning, I witness through my window the change of light perception and the warmth it radiates into my room. Boulder, I am excited but deeply grounded, and looking forward to our time together.

Shamatha Essay (January 19, 2011)

According to Thich Nhat Hahn, the aspect of meditation called shamatha contains four functions (stopping, calming, resting and healing). Why do we need to stop, calm, and rest in order to heal? What are you healing from? Give examples from the article as well as your own life.

Thich Nhat Hahn encourages shamatha, an aspect of meditation, as a means of breaking habits to live more fully in the present with awareness, acceptance and ultimately with love and a desire to bring joy and relieve suffering. Thich Nhat Hahn believes by letting go of habits through a series of functions that include stopping, calming, and resting, your systems can finally heal. The Buddha put it into five stages that can be summarized as: recognizing, accepting, embracing, looking deeply in, and ultimately insight. We will be diving in to why this method of meditation is pivotal to human behavior and how it can really help in healing ourselves and the world around us.

With either technique, both men emphasis the importance to stop, look, feel and listen to our minds and body for guidance and healing. Thich Nhat Hahn says when we stop, that gives us space to stop our thinking; to recognize our habit energies; to see our forgetfulness or the strong emotions that rule us; or perhaps the state of agitation or the restlessness that we encounter. He says, “By recognizing the habits as they come up, as we uncover and shine light on them, they weaken, they lose their dominant position on us.” Understanding the many causes and conditions, primary and secondary, sheds light on the self and exterior circumstances that may have led to the emotion. When we are calm enough, we can look at what causes discomfort, what has brought the emotion to be, and therefore we can discover what we can do ourselves to let it go.

Recognizing and reflecting are not complete without the practice of acceptance and embracing. Thich Nhat Hahn says, “After calming is resting, through sitting meditation. Sinking into the position, "like a pebble thrown into a stream, without effort allows itself to sink slowly to the bottom, where it rests allowing the river water to bass by." In that rest we can practice accepting what comes up and embracing it as part of our process, rather than rejecting or judging it. This creates transformation. So what develops is a rest for the mind and body, a level of calm that affirms life.

Thich Nhat Hahn put it beautifully when he said, "If an animal gets wounded, they find a quiet place and stop. they rest for days on end, lose sight of food, and let the healing powers wash over them. Then they resume life, back to health and vigor. We need to learn and know how to rest. To truly sink into those spaces, where the body shuts off autopilot and is allowed to idle in the healing soothing waters of time. Same goes for the mind. A calming, meditative state, where there is no need to attain anything. No struggle. Just being."

In that state of being, a state of understanding washes over us and connects us to the world. It heals us and puts us in grace. I know, when I allow myself that space, such a as when sitting on a rock overlooking a valley of trees, watching how the leaves blow from the wind, or how the clouds saunter by, without any hurry, I heal. That space for me is stopping. It's a chance to check in and settle into a stillness, to receive and let go of whatever I may have been holding unconsciously of consciously.

Also, by practicing shamatha, I find that I no longer indulge or lose control over my emotions or thoughts. The ability to separate them from personal ownership has been part of my practice for some time now. No longer that which defines me, the emotions are like my child, I am to watch them, care for them, and nurture them when they are upset, but they are not all of me. Just a part, a mix of chromosomes and external stimuli. Realizing and embodying these gifts of wisdom has been truly healing.

Palomares, Spain

Palomares, Spain

Associated Press (2006, October 8) Spain, U.S. Agree to Radioactivity Cleanup 40 Years After Atomic Accident. Fox News. Retrieved from http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,218559,00.html

Geitner, P (2008, September 12) Spanish Town Struggles to Forget Its Moment on the Brink of a Nuclear Cataclysm. New York Times. Retrieved from http://www.greenchange.org/article.php?id=3228

(2010, December 10). Wikileaks: USA has no interest in Palomares. Euro Weekly News. Retrieved from www.euroweeklynews.com/2010122085070/news/costa-de-almer%C3%ADa/wikileaks-usa- has-no-interest-in-palomares.html

On January 17, 1966, a B-52 Bomber, carrying four hydrogen bombs, collided with a flying tanker while refueling over Palomares, Spain. The collision released all four of its hydrogen bombs in the ensuing explosion, dropping three on the ground and one into the Meditterranean Sea. The nuclear warheads, many times more powerful than those that fell on Hiroshima, did not go off, but the parachutes failed to open on two of the bombs, resulting in high-explosive detonations that, although nonnuclear, spread radioactive material across a 2-square-kilometer area. Seven crew members died, while four parachuted to safety. No one on the ground was killed.

The contaminated soil, composed of a high amounts of plutonium, uranium and americium was placed into 6,000 barrels of 250-liter drums and relocated to the Savannah River Plant in South Carolina. Land with lower levels of contaminants where mixed with soil and forgotten.

The U.S Department of Energy and Spain's CIEMAT, the National Center for Energy and Environment Investigation, revealed that there was still significant radioactive elements found in plots that could have otherwise been used for agriculture or housing construction. By 2006, an additional 2 million liters of contaminated earth was discovered in two trenches. The U.S and Spanish government agreed to decontaminate the remaining areas and share the workload and costs, estimated at $2 million, abiding to the cost sharing arrangment made back in 1966 (which was scheduled to end in 2008). But by 2010 the U.S allegedly ceased payments, claiming the financial obligations had run out.

Christina Feldman and Jack Kornfield, A little Attention Makes all the Difference

Stories of the Spirit, Stories of the Heart. Christina Feldman and Jack Kornfield, eds. San Fransisco: Harper San Fransisco, 1991.

A Little Attention Makes All the Difference

• extending loving attention to the minutest particles of our lives.
• power of attention
• need to be fully awake in the moment if we are to receive and respond to the learning inherent in it.
• listen inwardly without judgment or resistance

Rumi, "Be Melting Snow"

APROPOS (OF NOTHING): unrelated to any previous discussion or situation

with reference to.

"my pet nightingale sobs like a drunk in the garden."

"God is in the look of your eyes, in the thought of looking, nearer to you than your self, or things that have happened to you. There's no need to go outside. Be melting snow. Wash yourself of yourself. A white flower grows in the quietness. Let your tongue become that flower."

Thich Nhat Hanh, "Stopping, Calming, Resting, Healing." Heart of the Buddha's Teachings

from the Heart of the Buddha's Teaching. Thich Nhat Hanh

Dvanchatvarimshat Khanda Stutra (Sutra of 42 Chapters). Taisho 789

stopping, calming, resting, healing.

vipashyana- looking deeply. insights.

shamatha- 1. stopping, calming, resting.

We can stop by practicing Mindful: breathing, walking, smiling, deep reflection, in order to understand. Recognize habits as they come up, as you uncover and shine light on them, they weaken, they lose their dominant position on us. what unfolds is understanding, acceptance (... love and desire to relieve suffering, bring joy)

Vashana: habit energies. (and breaking the the habit energies, by stopping calming, resting and healing, we can to live in the present, with awareness, acceptance and ultimately with a love and desire to bring joy and relieve suffering). Doing things and saying things we don't want to. Forgetfulness comes up like we drink a cup of tea, but we don't know we are drinking a cup of tea. We sit with a loved one, but we don't know that they are there; or we talk and can't remember what we said.

Calming: breathe, stop the activity, calm the emotions.

"we are at war with ourselves, and we can easily start a war with others." Due to: that we struggle with ourselves, we cannot stop moving.

art of stopping: our thinking, our habit energies, our forgetfulness, strong emotions that rule us (**? really?) state of agitation, restlessness.

"1. Recognizion: when we are angry we say, "i know that the anger is in me". (Recognize habits)

2. Acceptance: " " We do not deny it. We accept what is present.

3. Embracing: We hold it like a mother embracing a crying baby.

4. Looking deeply: when we are calm enough, we can look at what causes this discomfort, what has brought the emotion to be. Understanding the many causes and conditions, primary and secondary, shed light on the self and exterior circumstances that may have led to this emotion.

5. Insight: By reflecting on the reasons, on what has caused our suffering, we know what to do and what not to do to change the situation.

After calming is Resting. through sitting meditation. Sink into the position, "like a pebble thrown into a stream, without effort allows itself to sink slowly to the bottom, where it rests allowing the river water to bass by."

"We have to learn the art of resting. Allowing our body and mind to rest. If we have wounds in our body or mind, we have to rest so they can heal themselves."

"if an animal get wounded, they find a quiet place and stop. they rest for days on end, lose sight of food, and let the healing powers wash over them. Then they resume life, back to health and vigor. We need to learn and know how to rest. To truly sink into those spaces, where the body shuts off autopilot and is allowed to idle in the healing soothing waters of time. Same goes for the mind. A calming, meditative state, where there is no need to attain anything. No struggle. Just being."